.jpg)
Road rage? Maybe.
If that's what you want to call it when a reasonable driver gets fed up with all these lead-footed, bumper-riding bullies who populate and dominate every highway and byway of America!
"What is your problem, mister?! Do you actually believe that you will arrive at your destination faster if you ride dangerously close to my bumper all the way there?"
Don't you love it when you're driving along the interstate in the passing lane with the cruise control on, traveling at a reasonable speed (maybe even as slow as just a few miles per hour over the posted maximum speed limit, God forbid) when along comes another one of those incredibly impatient jerks barreling up behind you as if he intends to ram the back of your vehicle, then rides three inches from your back bumper as if he is angry that you didn't anticipate his arrival and pull over onto the shoulder of the road to let him pass? Why do so many people drive that way? Are they really that clueless and oblivious? I don't think so. And if they are ... their licenses should be suspended for simply being too stupid to drive.
Here is my theory: they ride our bumpers and drive too fast because they feel powerless everywhere else in their lives except when they are belted in behind the wheel of a 4000-pound vehicle. Once locked in and moving down the road, they feel "safe" enough to lash out at others, to be the bully for a change instead of the bullied. Am I over-analyzing? Okay; then explain this phenomenon: that same impatient bully finally moves into the other lane to pass you (the other lane that has been empty and available for the last six miles), only to then -- inexplicably -- move back into your lane and slow down in front of you so that you have to disengage the cruise control or pull around to pass him?!
"Aawww, come on! You've got to be kidding me! Thirty-nine miles per hour in a fifty-five mile per hour zone, on a two-lane road with double yellow no passing lines? Did the fourteen cars backed up behind you not tip you off that maybe you need to pick up the pace? Get a clue or get off the road!"
What about this guy? Does he really just have a lead foot and no clue? I say, if that kind of driving is NOT intentional, then he may be an even more dangerous driver to allow on the roads than if he is simply a defiant jerk. I mean, if someone is so clueless that he drives 38 or 39 miles per hour on a heavily used two-lane road with a posted speed limit of 55, and truly does not realize that he is creating a traffic hazard (or, at the very least, that he is angering and frustrating a lot of surly, tired, impatient people) ... well ... let's just say he's too clueless to be driving a car.
But I don't believe that kind of passive-aggressive driving is unintentional. I think that guy is trying to tick everybody off for no better reason than because he can; because he is a defiant little control freak whose only chance to control (and to safely aggravate) this many people in one day is by holding up traffic. Am I too cynical? I suppose you believe it's just coincidence that every time that hilly, curving two-lane road opens up for a half mile stretch to give the frustrated followers a brief opportunity to pass, that same driver who has been maintaining a brisk speed of 39 mph for the last five miles suddenly decides to accelerate to 58? ... and then back down to 37 as the opportunity to pass disappears!?
Road rage? Whatever.
I bet if I could just ask these guys in a face-to-face, personal conversation, what it is they think they are accomplishing by driving so dangerously, they wouldn't be quite the bully or the oppositional-defiant jerk they were out on the road. They might even be embarrassed, or, in a perfect world, realize that the people they are bullying and whose lives are endangering on the highway are just regular folks -- neighbors, co-workers, the nurse that took his blood pressure the last time he went to the doctor's office, the guy who bagged his groceries yesterday, his buddy's daughter or his pastor's wife.
Do you find yourself wishing those highway bullies would get caught by the state policeman lurking around the next curve in the road? ... hoping they will have to pay a fine of about $1,000 ... or maybe even go to jail for a few days!? :o) I do. But then I think, "Naah, paying a fine probably won't change the driving behavior of someone with that kind of disregard for the lives of other people. And no judge will ever send any of these jerks to jail for reckless driving.
What someone like that really needs is a good old-fashioned smack in the mouth ... just as a reminder to pay attention while I'm explaining a few things about physics and safe following distances.
"Aaaww, that's mean", you think to yourself as you read this. "Not everybody is as mean and heartless as you, Mr. Grumpy. You could just use those situations as a reminder to pray for people like that, you know."
You're right church lady. I'm probably the only one who thinks this way.
On the other hand, maybe you are one of those lead-footed, bumper-riding bullies? All squared away on the outside. Ready to explode on the inside. The bully-driving church lady in the SUV. If so, don't go whining about it if one day that old gray-haired man in the Chevy Impala that you intimidated a few miles back pulls in behind you at the next traffic light, gets out of his car, walks up to your driver's side window, and proceeds to "explain" some things to you -- loudly enough for every driver at the intersection to hear.
If that happens ... don't try to answer him or talk back. In fact, if I were you, I would try to avoid making prolonged eye contact with the man. Simply keep your eyes on the road and drive away when the light changes -- being careful not to follow too closely behind the car in front of you. And just be thankful he didn't have a lug wrench in his hand, you reckless, bumper-riding ...
Have a nice day.
... or choose not to.
That's completely up to you.