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Shut Up and Get a Real Job, You Freakin' Moron
During an interview for CNBC at the White House on Tuesday, a fly intruded on Obama's conversation with correspondent John Harwood.
"Get out of here," the president told the pesky insect. When it didn't, he waited for the fly to settle, put his hand up and then smacked it dead.
"Now, where were we?" Obama asked Harwood. Then he added: "That was pretty impressive, wasn't it? I got the sucker."
The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) wants the flyswatter-in-chief to try taking a more humane approach the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House.
PETA is sending President Barack Obama a "Katcha Bug" Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside."We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday. "We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals."
Friedrich said that PETA was pleased with Obama's voting record in the Senate on behalf of animal rights and noted that he has been outspoken against animal abuses.
Still, "swatting a fly on TV indicates he's not perfect," Friedrich said, "and we're happy to say that we wish he hadn't."
O.K. ... let me just go ahead and say (write) what the Deputy Press Secretary for the president wishes he could have said in response to this story instead of "no comment": Shut ... Up ... You stupid friedriching moron. If you were within reach right now, I would swat you ... right across the mouth with the back of my hand -- whether there were flies on your face or not. You are a first degree idiot, and several million more people know that now than knew it yesterday. Your lungs expanding before you speak is a waste of perfectly good oxygen. You just described a housefly as "curious".
Try not to think any more, Bruce. You might hurt yourself.
Here are some of the less significant facts about houseflies that "Bruce", of PETA, forgot to mention:
House flies feed on liquid or semi-liquid substances and solid material which has been softened by their own saliva or vomit. They constantly spit out saliva on solid foods to predigest it, and then suck it back in. They also regurgitate partly digested matter and pass it again to the abdomen. Because of their high intake of food, they deposit feces constantly, one of the factors that makes the insect a dangerous carrier of pathogens.
Flies are capable of carrying over 100 pathogens, such as typhoid, cholera, Salmonella, bacillary dysentery, tuberculosis, anthrax, ophthalmia, and parasitic worms. The flies in poorer and lower-hygienic areas usually carry more pathogens. Some strains have become immune to most common insecticides.
Each female fly can lay approximately 500 eggs in several batches of about 75 to 150, eggs. The eggs are white and are about 1.2 mm in length. Within a day, larvae (maggots) hatch from the eggs; they live and feed in (usually dead and decaying) organic material, such as garbage or feces. They are pale-whitish, 3-9 mm long, thinner at the mouth end, and have no legs. [But they are so cute and curious when they're babies!]
They live at least one week. The maggots crawl to a dry cool place to transform into pupae, colored reddish or brown and about 8 mm long. The adult flies then emerge from the pupae. After having emerged from the pupae, the flies cease to grow. Small flies are not young flies, but are indeed the result of getting insufficient food during the larval stage.
Normally the female mates only once, storing the sperm to use it repeatedly for laying several sets of eggs. [Hey! Just like human lesbians]. Males are territorial: they will defend a certain territory against other males and will attempt to mount any females that enter that territory. [Not unlike the dynamics of college dormitories housing male student athletes.]
Oh, and don't forget that they are very curious as they continuously vomit and deposit disease-laden feces all over your counter-tops, food, dishes, drinking glasses, soda cans, children's toys, baby bottles...
Some 36 hours after having emerged from the pupa, the female is receptive for mating. The male mounts her from behind to inject sperm. Copulation takes between a few seconds to a couple minutes. [Hey! Just like human males.]A rare look into the relationship of an active fly couple:
Buzz-Boy: "BZZZZZ ... bzzz ...uhh ... bzzz..."
NasTeen: "Come on shorty, time to buzz off! ... I'm ... I'm ... I think I'm regurgitating ... are you regurgitating? Buzz-Boy: Oh yeah... check out that beautiful semi-liquid, pre-digested beef cartlidge and tomato skin right in the middle of your hot hairy back, Nasteen.
Nasteen: Oh Buzz, you have the most beautiful red eyes after you deposit a load of feces and vomit!
Buzz-Boy: Yeah. Whatever, Nasteen. I guess I just have good family pupae. Do you have to stare into every one of my eyes while I'm regurgitating? It makes me feel like ... am I making a really goofy expression again? ... like I just got swatted, but lived? Is that it?
Doin' It On A Metal Rod (Who's Your Pupa?)
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